Are you a parent of a teen or pre-teen that is driving you crazy?

Or maybe you’re even questioning your own sanity?  Do you feel like one day you had a wonderful, affectionate, caring child and the next emerged a stranger? Are you grieving the loss of a close, loving relationship with this child who now seems intent on pushing your every button seemingly in the name of only hurting you? Are you at your wits’ end because you’ve tried the following interventions without effecting any change?

•    Grounding and other forms of punishment
•    Giving ultimatums
•    Yelling
•    Making threats
•    Getting into control battles

If so, you’re NOT alone.

But wouldn’t it feel better to have calm, civilized and respectful interactions with you’re your teen?

IT IS POSSIBLE!!!

Find out how you can…

•    Calmly respond to adolescent challenges with grace rather than impulsively reacting to them with anger
•    Have mutually respectful interactions
•    Gain insight into your child’s struggles by learning about adolescent brain/general development
•    Have a new-found relationship with your teen and get your family back
•    Find humor in the midst of the adolescent maelstrom

Admitting that you and your family need help is difficult. Many feel that, if they need help, they have somehow failed as parents.

This could not be further than the truth!

There is no book or training manual to follow when things get tough. And the stage of adolescence is far beyond tough—it can be downright torturous! Yet, somehow we have the expectation of ourselves that we should know what to do and how to do it.

Adolescents have a built-in mechanism to distrust and rebel against adults, most especially (and oh so lucky for you) their parents.  Often times, changes can only occur with the introjection of a third, objective party, such as a therapist.

So, why, when we are struggling and pulling our hair out, do we not seek help?

There are many reasons. A few are listed here:

1.    Denial: “My kid’s not in any trouble. He’s just moody. He’ll snap out of it.”
This is true, adolescents are moody and do, eventually, stabilize. But at what cost? Are you willing to put up with 4-8 years of turmoil?

2.    Shame/Embarrassment: “If our family needs help, I’m admitting that I’m a     failure and announcing to everyone that something’s wrong. I feel incompetent that I need to talk to a therapist about my own kid.”
Do you feel ashamed to call the plumber when you are having trouble with your toilet?  Why is this so different?

3.    Naiveté: “I didn’t know things were so bad.  I thought that it was just typical teenage stuff.”
Lack of knowledge paired with naiveté can be a deadly combination in adolescence. Gaining awareness and becoming empowered is the best way to help your child and family.

4.    Fear: “What if there’s something really wrong with my child?”
If your child is experiencing something more than just typical adolescent struggles, studies show that the earlier they get help, the better the outcome.

5.    Fed-up/Apathy: “I’ve given my child everything and this is how he repays me? I’m tired of him being the one running the show.”
There are plenty of parents who have inadvertently gotten into the habit of giving their child material items as a way to somehow (re)connect.  However, this often tends to only exacerbate problems; a dynamic can form where the teen winds up feeling alone when gifts take the place of understanding and emotional availability and the parents experience their child having a sense of entitlement and always wanting more.

6.    Cost: “We can’t afford to see a therapist.”
While this is not intended to trivialize financial constraints, it is meant for you to weigh short-term versus long-term cost.  How you interact with your child today has lasting effects on the adult he becomes.  Isn’t it worth it to make sure you do the best job possible?

If you are interested in setting up a meeting, please give me a call at 303-396-8084 to evaluate whether it’s a good fit for you and your family. This is a no-risk opportunity for you to ask/air any questions/concerns you may have.

I’ve worked with many teens and families over the last 10 years.  I’ve helped them communicate more effectively and gain insight into and understanding of one another’s perspectives. My style is one of connection and empathy while also being direct and forthright. And a sense of humor is always peppered in to keep things in perspective!

Isn’t it time to re-gain your sanity and get your family back?

Give me a call at 303-396-8084.